TUCSON, AZ – Raytheon Technologies Corp. released a statement Wednesday afternoon containing details of their new line of ICBMs called MissileToe™. The new arsenal of candy-cane striped artillery boasts a range of up to 1750 miles and comparable payload to that of its counterpart, the BGM-109 Tomahawk. Not only does the smooch-inducing cruise missile come decorated with garland wreath, shrapnel released by the warhead actually contains pieces of real West Texas grown mistletoe. Exhaust from the turbofan engine leaves behind the pleasant aromatic scent of red cedar, and the pressurized launch tube ejects fake snow in its wake. Each missile will also come equipped with a bluetooth loud speaker capable of connecting to any pilots holiday Spotify playlist. Raytheon Missiles and Defense President Wes Kremer added in the statement, “Remember during WWI when everyone stopped fighting on Christmas Day and hung out and respected each other like real humans? Well, instead of stopping war for the holidays, we’re bringing the holidays to the war.” One thing is for certain this holiday season, not everyone will be saying Merry Christmas. Watch the skies for a Raytheon MissileToe™ near you.