The Sower’s Sack originated as the leading independent unaffiliated news source for the University of Oklahoma, bringing you coverage of most breaking news events that happen on and around campus, and has since expanded it’s journalistic iron fist empire to cover the entire world and all its civilizations. It prides itself on high journalistic integrity, truth and accuracy, transparency, honesty, never being redundant, and never having blocked a major global shipping artery with a giant ship.

It also is the nation’s leader in ant breeding, and is currently experimenting on creating on the world’s first “Super Ant”, with hopes that it will be able to survive a nuclear holocaust while embedded with a quantum computer chip encoded with the entire human genome.  With access to cutting edge technology such as sand and very large plastic rectangular prisms, who knows how many ants could be bred.

The Sower’s Sack firmly believes Johannes Gutenberg really had comin’ to him and will do anything it can to provide an accessible, paper free news source, just to smite him.

By imperial decree of the Enlightened One, the highest authority figure whose hand is humbly guided by the winds of the Harvest to lead all brains and operations of The Sower’s Sack: As of December 1st, 2024 of the solar Gregorian calendar, all posts, articles, stories, or any written communications conceived by Prophets of the Seed shall no longer be required to include any body text and are permitted to publish headlines only. You’re not gonna fuckin read them anyway.

The First Amendment protects satire as a form of free speech and expression. The Sower’s Sack uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The Sower’s Sack is not intended for readers under 18 years of age, sorry Matt Gaetz, you’ll have to find something else to read during aftercare.